Posted by: innerpilgrimage | September 10, 2012

Mutually Assured Disbelief: Making Peace Through the OA Promise

      I put my hand in yours and together we can do what we could never do alone.
      No longer is there a sense of hopelessness.
      No longer must we each depend upon our own unsteady willpower.
      We are all together now, reaching out our hands for power and strength greater than ours.
      And as we join hands, we find love and understanding beyond our wildest dreams.

      I added a new WordPress journal very, very late tonight on my blogroll links. See, I was going through my stats, trying to figure out how people land on my journal page. I looked at the WordPress tags, and I scrolled through several entry beginnings until I found Jeannine’s Blog: Keep It Simple JN . Her entry on 29 August (“Am I Lovable?“) touched me because I feel it personally when I go into the rooms. I feel it personally because I don’t have a sponsor.
      I put her journal in my links because I realized that something was more important than theism, agnosticism, or atheism: recovery.
      I urge anyone looking for recovery to see the many faces of it. We are all connected by Tradition Three. Just like I can help and be helped by people who are atheists in program, I think the Christians I’ve met who are struggling with the challenges of finding hands to hold theirs should have people who understand and can communicate in terms of their religious faith.
      I keep thinking about the Hitchens brothers–Christopher and Peter. They were at odds for a long time, on opposite sides of the faith-versus-reason debate in nonfiction literary circles. Now that Christopher Hitchens is gone, I am thinking about my sister who’s a minister. I don’t want to be angry at her. She’s a good person, challenged by what life has thrown at her. My sister’s strong faith in God through Christianity–enough that she graduated divinity school and was ordained–sustains her through the hardships of life. Just like her, my strong poly-atheism (supported by a whole lot of science and reason) sustains me right now. I know she loves me, and I love her, too. In fact, I think I’ll email her tomorrow to see how she’s faring (I’m still a social anorexic in compulsion–even emailing people can be agonizing). That’s what I appreciate about program. It doesn’t matter what the power greater than ourselves is. It just matters that we have one and a fellowship to share our experience, strength, and hope with.
      I’d like to ask anyone who reads this to consider reaching out to someone, anyone, in program. It’s hard, because we want people to reach out to us, first. But if our hands aren’t out for others, we can’t keep that OA promise. We can’t have it because we aren’t giving it. Reach out your hand for power and strength greater than ours, today. Use the tools in any way possible, so perhaps the next journal I read is titled: I am a Compulsive Overeater, and I Am Lovable.
      My name is Jess, and I am cross-addicted to food and toxic love, both as glutton and ascetic. Normally, I don’t double-blog days, but Jeannine apparently reached out to her Higher Power, the Christian God, and looked for an answer. While I see the irony that an atheist responded, it’s just one of those weird mysteries of life that makes life exciting, interesting, and challenging. And it’s helping me recover, to become a compassionate atheist. I’m not angry whatsoever. I feel peace and serenity. And no, God didn’t put it there because I don’t believe God exists. I do believe in the existence of reaching out to another human being and relating to her experience so deeply because I feel the exact same way so much of the time. That’s enough for me, and as wonderful women like Amy and Jeannine are great with God? I am good without God.


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