Posted by: innerpilgrimage | March 9, 2014

A Day in the Life: Evolution as a Mindful Choice

      What an odd couple of days. I was thinking this morning about how, yesterday morning, I had decided I hated everything about me because I get in my own way. I realized this morning that I had gotten out of my own way to do a first in my life–write and publish a book review. I’ve done it. I was thinking yesterday that I needed to do more, not thinking about what it took to have even done it once. That’s an achievement in itself, and I decided today to appreciate that I can no longer say, “I’ve never written a real book review.”

      I did have help, in that I was working from a template someone had made available online. Well, it wasn’t a template so much as questions and a format I followed carefully in order to write that review. I used, as one alternative 12 Steps says for Step Three: the wisdom of others to guide my action. Pretty awesome.
      I’m thinking, today, about adding pages to this web journal. Not just posted entries here but more pages. Things people seem to want out of this journal and things I want out of this journal. A page of links with resources for people looking for guidance as they journey through program–websites and books primarily. A page of inspirational quotes and poems, including the poem, “After a While”. Maybe a polls page. A page about the 12 Steps as I understand them. A collection of program promises, to keep inspired. Possibly even online meetings which support an atheist/agnostic journey in program. I’m not sure where I’ll go with it, but I have a lot of options to run with to broaden my 40-Something Fool’s Journey journal, especially as I examine the parts of program which I want to cover in depth for myself and anyone who wants to read what I learned about my own journey.
      I’m not really sure what to add, but adding content (besides that “About Me”-ish page) will be something I’ve not done before.
      I’m feeling like I’m starting to understand the Serenity Prayer better having changed something I could change. With something so minor like that first real book review (despite having written about books before here, though not an actual review), I have changed. I’m not the same person I was even two days ago. That’s something I want to be mindful of. Even small changes in myself, small adjustments, make a huge difference.
      With each choice to try something I’ve never tried before despite the fear that I will fail, I change. For me, the courage to change the things I can really has more to do with having the courage to change a long list of never-dones into a list of have-dones. They don’t have to be perfectly done (“Progress, not perfection”), but the act of doing them at all is profound. The act of coming to believe something is so important that I must take action is worth taking time to appreciate that I chose to act instead of hide yet again.
      Where this will take me, I don’t know. Just for today, however, I’m a person who did something yesterday that I’d never done before. That’s something to get grateful over, so that’s what I’ll do today . . . be grateful.

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